


Running Out of Time

by QuietlikeaMouse



Series: Run Boy Run [2]
Category: Rooster Teeth/Achievement Hunter/Funhaus RPF
Genre: Abuse, Angst with a Happy Ending, Blood, Dehumanization, FAHC, Fake AH Crew, M/M, Minor Character Death, More tags to be added, Multi, Panic Attacks, Past Child Abuse, Recovery, Suicidal Thoughts, Torture, Violence, baker!Jeremy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-08
Updated: 2017-05-29
Packaged: 2018-10-01 03:17:28
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,765
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10179467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/QuietlikeaMouse/pseuds/QuietlikeaMouse
Summary: You can't run forever. One day your legs will give out and you will fall. You just have to hope that when that happens someone will be there to help pick you back up.





	1. run

Trevor had been running for as long as he could remember. Life in the city was dangerous especially when one’s parents were part of a gang known for getting in too deep and tossing members aside like everyone in the world was expendable. That was what they were after all, expendable.

Not that Trevor was any more than what they had been. He was some no-name piece of shit kid, running around the city and just scrapping by. Except, he wasn’t a kid anymore. He was 24 years old and he knew that his time was running out. After all the shit and pain Trevor had run from and out run, time was the one thing he couldn’t escape.

Trevor’s time was coming and there didn’t seem to be shit he could do to stop it.

It started with a simple job. He worked freelance as someone who could get information, either by sneaking around and listening in or by taking a knife to someone’s skin and carving the answer out of them. Trevor was good at it too. He didn’t care about blood and knew how to cover his tracks. People didn’t find him if he didn’t want to be found and Trevor was good at digging up secrets. Maybe a life of blood and pain wasn’t the best, but it was Trevor’s.

If Trevor had learned anything in life it was that no matter how hard you tried life would always screw you over in the end.

Jobs went wrong though. It wasn’t unusual and Trevor had learned to deal with the problems as they came at least until the most recent job. He’d worked a guy to get information out of him for an employer. It wasn’t an issue for Trevor because it wasn’t a super complex job. Trevor had finished it pretty easily actually, but apparently someone found out that Trevor was the one who worked over the man and decided that they needed to come after Trevor not the people who hired Trevor. It was kind of unfair if you asked Trevor, but he wasn’t going to voice that as he sprinted away from the men following him.

The men chasing Trevor had cornered him and got a shot into his side before Trevor wrestled the gun away from the man and run away. Trevor was starting to get woozy, but he knew that he could do a double back and lose them. He had been running since the day he was born and there was no one who could outrun him. So as Trevor doubled back and found himself ducking into a shop, he felt pretty confident he’d be able to just push past whoever was in the shop and get away.

At least, Trevor thought that until he came face to face with what he was convinced was a shorter version of Hercules. Seriously the guy looked like he could have snapped Trevor over his knee. It was weird in an almost hot way. Not that Trevor was focused on that with the men after him and the blood leaking from his wound. Trevor was just thankful that he had his bandana to hide his identity at least a little.  

Looking at the man for a moment, Trevor raised his gun at, looking at the name tag, Jeremy. Trevor wouldn’t use the gun, but this Jeremy guy didn’t know that about Trevor. “Lead me into the backroom. Some men will come in here looking for me. Please…” Trevor paused for a moment, taken aback by the pleading in his voice. It sounded like real fear which was weird. Trevor hadn’t felt real fear in such a long time.

“They’ll kill me if you don’t,” Trevor ended solemnly. It was true. They would probably kill him in the fucking shop if they had to. Trevor didn’t really want to go that way. Something poetic like drowning saving someone or something like that would be preferred by Trevor. He just didn’t want to go out like his parents had. Trevor didn’t want to go down as a coward.

Staring at the man for a tense moment, Trevor just prayed the man would help him and as the back door was opened up, Trevor was tempted to lower the gun. He felt like this guy didn’t mean him any harm, but that didn’t matter. Keeping the gun trained on ‘Jeremy’s’ head, Trevor walked into the back, not responding when the other informed him of a first aid kit.

Once the door was shut, Trevor tossed the gun off to the side and quickly snatched the first aid kit, not caring that he was leaking blood on the floor. If all went as plan, Trevor would be out of there and running before the men after him even entered the little… bakery? Glancing around, he only just realized that the shop he’d ducked into was a little bakery. Jesus what kind of buff as hell guy would be running a fucking bakery? It definitely didn’t fit stereotypes of guys like him.

Shaking the thought out of his head, Trevor opened the first aid kit and pulled out bandages. Trevor lifted up his shirt and felt around his side. There was an exit wound which was more than Trevor thought he had going for him. It meant he wouldn’t have to get a doctor to dig around in him and find the bullet. It also felt like there weren’t any broken bones and it was far enough on his side that just a little bit to the right and it would have just been a graze. That hopefully meant that his organs were unharmed. All in all, he had no plans to get it checked out.

The bandages were easy to apply, he just dressed the wounds and made sure the bleeding wouldn’t continue at the rate it had. Leaving the first aid kit where it was, Trevor went to the back exit to start running away again, but he paused. There was a baseball bat near the exit. Snatching it up, Trevor opened the door and left quickly, running off into the night.

\----------

The next day, Trevor was back in his studio apartment trying to not think about the little bakery and whether or not those men had hurt the man there.

Jeremy. That was the name of the man. It was weird to think that Trevor knew his name, but he didn’t even know Trevor’s name. That left the question of why was Trevor thinking about him? He was just some idiot who let a bleeding man with a gun into his back room. Maybe the Jeremy guy was just the last good person in the entire damn city or had only just moved there. Either way he was a fool.

Which begged the question of why was Trevor heading to the bakery in his civilian clothes and his signature bandana gone so no one would recognize him as Zed. It didn’t make sense for him to go back to the scene of the crime and risking the men coming back and finding him.

There Trevor was though. Walking into the shop, Trevor was greeted by a completely different man. The shop was empty, Trevor had come during a weird time, except for a tall lanky man with long hair and a bit of a beard. It even seemed like the tips of the guy’s hair were dyed. Looking at the name tag, Trevor was able to find out that the man, “Matt,” did work there.

“Hey man, you need anything?” Matt asked, looking as bored as could be.

Trevor gave a soft smile and said, “No thanks, I’m just looking around. I never realized that there was a bakery here.”

The other smirked a little. “Yeah, a little bakery in this city kind of sticks out, but enough people like it.”

Smiling wider and easier, Trevor wanted to make Matt feel at ease around him. “This city needs a cute shop like this. Though… to be honest you don’t look like the kind of guy to own a bakery.”

The barking laughter that came from Matt surprised Trevor. Matt turned towards the back door and shouted, “Hey Jeremy a guy here thinks your gay shop is mine!”

Trevor chuckled a little bit at the door flew open and Jeremy stormed out of the back, a light blush on his cheeks. “You’re just jealous I can actually get some. Go scrub some shit in the back. The frosting mixer has your name on it.”

There was some grumbling from Matt, but he left and went into the back. Jeremy then turned to Trevor and asked, “Is there anything I can help you with?”

Ducking a little bit, Trevor smiled at the other and said, “I was just surprised to see a bakery here… And uh… I was a little surprised to see who worked and owned the shop. It’s really nice. Most shops like this in this city are just fronts for other things.”

“Yeah well nothing in our goods other than a bit of sugar and flour,” Jeremy shot back.

Chuckling, Trevor held out his hand and said, “I’m Trevor.”

As Jeremy gave a giant grin, took his hand, gripped it tight, shook it, said, “Nice to meet you Trevor,” and Trevor’s heart did a stupid little flutter, Trevor knew he was fucked.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was going to get this first chapter out on Monday and then life happened. I'm happy I got it out though. My hope is to make this a chaptered Trevor/Jeremy work. So back to my usual style of notes: 
> 
> Will Jeremy and Trevor fall in love? Is Matt going to cock block them? Will this story become happy and fluffy or horrible and full of angst? Who knows?


	2. ignorance is bliss (until it gets you killed)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Getting out of the house more is all well and fun until people start pointing guns at you.

After the taller man left, Jeremy put the money in the register. Trevor had bought a few cupcakes and as much as Jeremy appreciated the business, he’d almost wanted to give the cute man the cupcakes for free. Jeremy had never been very good at flirting, after all. He normally was just as nice as he possibly could be and baked things for people until they took notice of him. The dark-haired man didn’t seem to take almost any notice of Jeremy though, as he stared at the baked goods, and it left Jeremy sighing and staring out the window with a dreamy look in his eyes once he was gone.

Leaning on the counter, Jeremy didn’t hear Matt come up behind him until the other spoke. “So, did you get his number?”

“No. How would I have gotten his number, he barely even looked at me,” Jeremy replied with a frown.

“Dude he was 100 percent gay for you.”

“And how would you know that?”

Matt laughed a little and said, “Well you know how people in relationships just love telling people not in relationships what to do about crushes.”

Rounding on Matt, Jeremy changed the subject at that. “Speaking of that, when do I get to miss this mystery boyfriend of yours? You’re inept as fuck at talking to people, how do you have a boyfriend and I don’t?”

Chuckling, Matt said, “Come on, I’ve already told you he doesn’t like meeting new people. I don’t want him to get freaked out. As soon as he gives me the go ahead you guys’ll meet.”

“Good. I have to give my blessing before you sign over your soul to whatever sugar daddy you’re dating,” Jeremy teased, laughing at the blush that rose to Matt’s cheeks when he said “sugar daddy.”

“I do _not_ have a sugar daddy,” Matt snapped, crossing his arms.

Rolling his eyes, Jeremy replied, “Yeah because I’m completely blind and can’t see the expensive as fuck watch you have on or the fact that you got that laptop you’d been ranting about for months. I’m betting that unless you’ve been giving hundred-dollar b-j’s every night your boyfriend got it for you which means he’s your fucking sugar daddy.”

“You’re just jealous I’m getting some,” Matt replied easily.

Jeremy laughed and pushed the taller man. He was pretty happy to have easy conversations and jokes with Matt after the weirdness of what had happened the night before. Jeremy hadn’t stopped thinking about the mysterious stranger that had walked into his little shop. He cursed himself for not paying more attention to what the man with the bandana had looked like or what the men after him had looked like. It would have been nice to at least give something to the police. Not that Jeremy had any faith in the police to actually do something to stop the men.

That would have required for the police in that city to give a fuck about crime and everyone living there knew the police didn’t give a fuck. Sure, Jeremy was fairly new in town, but he wasn’t new enough to think that the police would do fuck all over three shady men searching for a guy who looked like he’d been shot.

“Well can you ask your sugar daddy for a baseball bat? I need one to carry when I take out the trash and the asshole last night stole it,” Jeremy commented. Really, Jeremy wasn’t as upset about his baseball bat getting stolen as he was about finding a, probably incriminating, gun on his floor in the morning.

“What happened with that guy anyway? You worried he’ll come back?” Matt asked. He had been told the whole story by Jeremy once Jeremy had come back to their shared apartment that night.

As Jeremy shook his head, Matt shrugged and said, “Whatever man, but for the next few days we should make sure to not work with just one of us in the shop. If those three after Mr. Bandana hadn’t believed you, I’d be talking to a corpse. And as much as you keep trying to get me to learn how to bake, this shop would crumble without your goods. I’d have to start offering b-j’s just to keep it afloat and that sounds sick.”

“Yeah you’re probably shit at them anyway,” Jeremy teased back. It was true, though. If the three men had suspected that Jeremy was lying, he would have been fucked. Jeremy had the gun hidden at the register, but that wouldn’t have been enough for what Jeremy suspected were three armed men.

It didn’t help that Jeremy had never actually shot the gun. The hope was that all Jeremy would need was to scare someone off, not actually shoot them. Maybe Jeremy would try to find a shooting range to get some practice with the gun. He knew the logistics of shooting a gun, but actually experiencing it would be preferable.

“You want to go to a shooting range with me sometime on Monday?” Jeremy asked suddenly. The shop was closed on Mondays so that was the best time to actually go and practice with the gun. Plus, Jeremy figured it would be good for Matt to practice with the gun.

At the shake of Matt’s head, Jeremy frowned.

“I don’t like guns, Jeremy. Besides I figure the more you know how to use something the more likely you are. I hope you never have to fire that thing,” Matt remarked, nodding at the gun’s hiding spot.

Shrugging, Jeremy just looked away from Matt. He knew the other didn’t like guns, but Jeremy worried that they would have to use it one day. It was inevitable that they would be robbed one day and if Matt or Jeremy couldn’t defend themselves it’d turn out poorly.

Jeremy wouldn’t have even moved to the city if not for it being one of the cheapest places they could open a bakery. Plus, it allowed Jeremy to escape his oppressive parents. They just couldn’t let go of Jeremy quitting gymnastics. Apparently, they’d had some hope of Jeremy going to the Olympics, but Jeremy didn’t turn out the way they wanted in more ways than one. It was okay though, Jeremy didn’t care. He had his friend and a bakery. That was more than Jeremy had thought he would get.

It was easy to ignore the pang of loneliness when Matt was off on a date with his mysterious boyfriend and Jeremy was left alone. It was easy to ignore the longing in Jeremy’s heart for more fulfillment than just a friend who isn’t around him half the time unless they’re at work. It wasn’t really Matt’s fault either. The city sucked and if Matt was able to find happiness in a boyfriend that was awesome.

It didn’t make it hurt any less, but Jeremy would ignore it. He would survive and survive with a smile on his face.

“Earth to Jeremy.”

A hand waved in front of Jeremy’s face and he blinked a bit before looking up at Matt once more. Rubbing the back of his neck, Jeremy chuckled and said, “Sorry I spaced out there for a second. Just thinking about the last time we hung out that wasn’t at work or sleeping in the apartment.”

The frown that rose to Matt’s face made Jeremy fill with regret. “No dude I didn’t mean it like that!”

The frown didn’t go away, but after a moment, Matt smiled again. “How about you and I go to a club together on Saturday?”

Jeremy’s brows furrowed in confusion. “A club?”

The taller of the two chuckled and said, “I know it’s not our usual scene, but I was going to go to hang out with _him_. Maybe you can come and hang out too. I don’t know if he’ll want to meet you, but if he doesn’t I’ll just tell him to fuck off.”

Images of being an awkward third wheel didn’t really appeal to Jeremy so he shook his head, but paused as Matt spoke again. “Dude you haven’t left our apartment other than to get supplies for this place or McDonalds. You need to get out. Besides I’m pretty sure we’re out of alcohol and by the time you close up shop tonight the ABC store will be closed.”

“Fuck.” Jeremy knew Matt was right. He’d drunk the last of the whiskey the night before and Jeremy wouldn’t have time that night. Fridays he stayed open a little late because it was always busier. Waiting until the next night to get alcohol wouldn’t be too bad. Besides… Matt looked like he wanted Jeremy to go.

Jeremy would feel better going himself. All of the clubs in the city were affiliated with the various gangs which meant they were subject to being attacked or raided on occasion by rival gangs. Going with Matt meant they could stick together and watch each other’s backs.

“Which club?” Jeremy asked.

“Off Topic.”

That was an alright one at least. Jeremy couldn’t remember which gang held that territory, but it tended to be a bit safer. When shops were robbed, people didn’t die as often as other areas. Jeremy hadn’t memorized which gang owned what territory, he just knew his shop lied on one of the rare neutral spots of the city. It was fought over sometimes, but that meant that the gangs were too busy fighting over turf to try and rob his small shop or get protection money from him.

With a sigh, Jeremy reluctantly agreed. “Fine, I’ll go.”

\-------

The next day when Jeremy found himself in a club, he wanted to go back in time and punch Matt in the face. Of course, his friend had assured him that he wouldn’t be ditched, but about five minutes into them being in the club, Matt had gotten a text from his boy and promptly disappeared.

Jeremy was left at the bar, wondering how pissed Matt would get if he just left. Jeremy was tempted to. They only had one shitty beaten down car between the two of them and the club was too far away to walk.

Not that Jeremy was actually going to ditch Matt like that. Jeremy didn’t want to have to identify Matt’s dead body to the police because he made Matt walk. Though, arguably, whoever Matt’s boyfriend was should have been able to give Matt a ride or pay for a cab for him. Maybe Jeremy would text Matt and ask if he could leave. Jeremy could always fake a head or stomach ache to get out of socializing. Just as Jeremy pulled out his phone to do it, he caught the sight of the bandanaed man from two nights ago.

Maybe it was the alcohol in his system or the fact that Jeremy was bored, but the second he spotted the man, he dropped his phone, stalked over, and grabbed the stranger’s arm. “You owe me a fucking baseball bat asshole.”

Surprise lit up in the man’s eyes for a moment before the stranger roughly pulled his arm away from Jeremy. “I needed something to defend myself.”

“You had a gun, which by the way, thanks for leaving in my bakery where those three guys could have found and used it to blow my brains out. Real great way to repay someone for saving your ass,” Jeremy snapped back. It was definitely the alcohol talking. Jeremy could feel himself sway a little and normally he wouldn’t yell at someone who was probably armed and dangerous.

The stranger seemed to hesitate for a moment before looking around. “You shouldn’t be here,” he said before grabbing Jeremy roughly by the arm and pulling him towards a back door.

Yanking his arm out of the man’s grip that time, Jeremy scoffed and said, “I’m not going with you. Didn’t your mom ever tell you not to fuck around with strangers?”

A sigh could be heard from the stranger and Jeremy could see his mouth open behind the bandana to reply when the whole club flashed brightly and smoke poured into the building.

Rubbing his eyes and blinking, Jeremy could only hear a sharp ringing noise as he felt himself getting dragged along. Spots danced in front of his eyes and as much as Jeremy tried to blink them out they wouldn’t go away. Too dazed to resist, Jeremy started coughing from the smoke until the hand on his arm fully pulled him out of the building and out of the smoke.

Blinking again, Jeremy felt his sense slowly coming back to him in time to hear the bandanaed man mutter, “Fucking flash bangs.”

Looking at his arm, Jeremy put together that the man was the one who pulled him out of the club. Gunshots could be heard from back within the club and Jeremy realized that the man had probably saved his life by dragging him out of there.

“Did you know that was going to happen?” Jeremy asked, feeling fear sink in.

The man didn’t answer Jeremy, just continued pulling Jeremy along. “There will be more and they’ll come out here to kill as many as they can.”

Opening his mouth to argue, Jeremy paused. The man had saved his life and probably not to just get him killed outside. Jeremy would follow the man until later.

Trailing behind the man, Jeremy waited when a hand was held up and saw a gleaming knife palmed in the man’s hand. The man stepped around a corner and Jeremy heard a gurgling noise and saw blood splatter to the ground.

As the man stepped back around the corner, Jeremy felt sick to his stomach at the blood now splattered across his bandana. Standing frozen, Jeremy stuttered out, “Wh- who are you?”

A look flickered across the man’s eyes, but Jeremy couldn’t catch it long enough to place it. A tense moment passed before the man turned around and gruffly said, “Zed.”

Jeremy didn’t speak again as the man started walking again, just following silently. A noise came from behind Jeremy and he heard a click. Turning around, Jeremy spotted a man pointing a gun at him and held up his hands. The man tensed and Jeremy closed his eyes, sure he was about to get shot when the high pitched sound of metal slicing through the air passed his ear.

Opening his eyes, Jeremy saw the man with a knife in his eye, screaming bloody murder. The gun was on the ground and Jeremy felt like he was really going to puke that time. Actually retching, Jeremy didn’t notice Zed stepping around him to block his view of the man. A push on his shoulder was enough to get Jeremy to start walking again.

Soon enough they were near a motorcycle and the man seemed to start trying to figure out how to hotwire the car when a man almost covered in glitter and gold stepped into view with a golden pistol. The man started to yell, but stopped as he seemed to recognize Zed.

“Zed?” The, apparently, British man said.

“Golden Boy,” Zed replied, not even looking up at the other as he worked on the bike.

Jeremy then found himself under scrutiny of the other man and shrunk back on himself. There was an explosion from the building and Jeremy jumped back, no longer looking at the man. 

The jangle of keys was heard before Golden Boy snapped, “Get the civ out of here.”

Jeremy looked back in time to see Zed holding a pair of keys. “You going to be okay?” Zed asked.

“Yeah don’t worry bout me. My boi’s in there,” Golden Boy remarked with a cocky smirk. “Just get the civ out of here. Can’t have more deaths ruining the Fakes’ good name, yeah?”

The Fakes. A notorious gang. Probably one of the most feared in the city. They were known to leave civilians alone as long as they didn’t get in the way and here was Ramsey’s right hand man. Jeremy didn’t know how he didn’t realize it earlier. He was a fucking idiot.

Though, Jeremy didn’t get much time to dwell on it before Zed was pulling him towards the bike and commanding him to get on. Following through without really thinking about it, Jeremy continued to stare at the Golden Boy.

The bike started under Jeremy and they rolled away as the Golden Boy winked and said, “Close your mouth or you’ll catch a fly, love.”

With that they were off.

\---------

It was only after Jeremy and Zed stopped a little bit out of the city that Jeremy remembered Matt. Patting down his pockets, Jeremy cussed when he realized that his phone was missing. He dropped it in the club earlier. “You have a phone?”

Zed pulled a shitty flip phone out of his pocket and tossed it to Jeremy without a word. Jeremy assumed the phone was a burner given the fact that there were no contacts in it as he dialed Matt’s phone. As the other picked up, Jeremy let out a sigh of relief and said, “Matt it’s Jeremy.”

“Where the hell have you been man? I was worried fucking sick! I called your number a million times! Where are you calling from?” Matt yelled through the phone.

Jeremy would have been pissed in any other situation, but he was just relieved. “I dropped my phone when shit hit the fan. I’ll explain more later. I guess you got out okay?”

“Yeah I was with my boyfriend when it happened. He had one of his friends take me out of there and drive me to the apartment. I wasn’t even in there when the shooting started.”

That was good to know that Matt hadn’t been in any danger. “Alright dude I’ll be there in a bit.”

Hanging up, Jeremy handed back the phone and looked Zed over for a moment before giving a sheepish grin.

“Any chance I can bum a ride?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who is Matt's mystery boyfriend? Any guesses? Why did I write such a long chapter? Will Jeremy ever get some? Who knows? Me? Definitely not.


	3. it all goes to hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Isn't it great when things are going great and then life decides to kick you in the balls?

Whether Jeremy’s general optimism and laid-backness about being shot at and on the bike of a known killer was annoying or endearing wasn’t sure. All Trevor knew was he was intrigued by the other man. Hanging around the mountain for a while to make sure they hadn’t been followed, Trevor checked his work phone and saw a nice message from Ramsey saying that he was going to get his dick fed to him for not informing them in time. Apparently, the fact that Trevor had left several messages warning them of the impending attack on their club wasn’t good enough for the leader of the Fakes. Well, being an informant and torturer was never an easy job especially since Trevor didn’t actually belong to a crew. He was sure the Fakes were thinking of hiring him, but his job overlapped with their Vagabond and Golden Boy so they didn’t need him.

Still getting hired by them was something of a wish of Trevor’s. It would mean protection when a crew got pissed that he tortured someone and not having to scrounge around for work. Being a freelance criminal sure was hard. It probably didn’t help that no one took him serious because he had a bit of a baby face. People always thought he was a lot younger and the younger a criminal the less experienced. That was the lot Trevor had been given though. He was born into the life of a criminal and there was no way in hell he’d ever get out. No way in hell he’d have a normal life.

That was the reason he liked talking to Jeremy in his civilian clothes. It helped Trevor forget that he was in a business that only ever ended in death. No one in Trevor’s business got to grow old. No one in Trevor’s business got happiness. The business was cruel. It chose a person and latched on to them and bled them dry until there was nothing left. That was how it worked. That was Trevor’s fate.

He tried to not think about it.

Watching Jeremy pace for a little bit, Trevor finally spoke, “We can go now. If anyone was coming for me they would have attacked by now.”

Maybe it was paranoid of Trevor to wait for so long to see if anyone had followed them, but paranoid was the only way Trevor had survived as long as he had. Paranoia was actually a good thing in the great world of crime.

Hopping onto the bike, Trevor waited until Jeremy was on to take off again. He tried to ignore the hands wrapped around him as he sped down the mountain roads. Business and Jeremy couldn’t mix. Trevor wasn’t Trevor right then. He was ZedDirection and that’s the way it would stay. Though Trevor would have been lying if he didn’t admit that he was imagining what it would be like to have Jeremy’s arms wrapped around him while spooning or cuddling. A little domestic for Trevor’s usual fantasies, but a nice idea either way.

As Trevor drove he hoped that Jeremy wouldn’t question how he knew where the other’s apartment was. It really wasn’t for creepy stalker reason either. Jeremy just happened to be living with someone dating a Fake and well the Fakes had hired Trevor to look into Matt Bragg. That was the whole reason Trevor was near Jeremy’s bakery when the guys shot him. Not that Trevor ever wanted to tell Jeremy that. Stalking Jeremy’s roommate probably wouldn’t have earned him brownie points either.

The apartment Jeremy and Matt lived in was kind of shitty. Trevor already knew that because he’d broken into the apartment to snoop on Matt. Despite the shittiness of the apartment, Trevor actually liked it quite a bit. It looked lived in to Trevor and that was the kind of thing Trevor longed for. His own apartment had the bare minimum in it. He was always ready to pack up and move to a different location if anyone tried to kill him. Shitty motels, abandoned warehouses, cardboard boxes. Trevor had lived in it all. He stayed long enough to keep his head above water and then moved on to keep from getting himself eaten by all the sharks swimming in the pool.

Looking up at said apartment, Trevor parked the bike and got off. As Jeremy started walking towards the stairs to his apartment, Trevor followed. He was planning on hanging out away from his home in case Ramsey decided to try and get revenge on Trevor not warning them in time. It was Ramsey’s fault they hadn’t been warned, but Trevor wasn’t going to tell him that. Trevor liked his dick where it was.

“What are you doing?” Jeremy asked, frowning at him.

Looking at Jeremy and knowing that he was seeing Zed was strange. He didn’t really know how he wanted to react, but after a moment of silence, Jeremy just shrugged and kept walking. It seemed the other was accepting the newly found shadow and wasn’t going to argue with him. Trevor was only a little grateful for it.

Trevor followed closely behind Jeremy, palming a knife and keeping an eye out to make sure no one was on their tail. For a second, Trevor almost felt like he was being a bodyguard to Jeremy. It was interesting to think about. Maybe Jeremy would be some seedy business man and Trevor a body guard instead of a torturer. That wouldn’t make much sense. Jeremy looked more like a body guard than Trevor did. Maybe a reversal of the roles would work out better.

That was a funny thought. Trevor as a businessman. As if he would have been lucky enough to grow to be that.

Once inside of Jeremy’s apartment, Trevor glanced around at all the things around the room. It was just as messy as the last time Trevor had broken in. The only expensive thing in the room was the computer system Trevor had frustratingly not been able to break into. It was Matt’s and according to Trevor’s research on the other, Matt was an excellent hacker. It made sense that his computer would be almost impossible to hack.

Finally looking at the whispering Jeremy and Matt, Trevor spotted the other pulling out a phone and moved over quickly, grabbing Matt’s shirt and putting the knife to Matt’s throat. Letting go of Matt’s shirt, Trevor snatched the phone before pulling the knife away from Matt’s throat. Closing the phone, Trevor tossed the phone off into some corner. He didn’t put the knife away, but did take a step back away from Matt. Normally Trevor would talk more as Zed, but he feared Jeremy would recognize his voice if he did.

“Dude what the hell? I wasn’t calling the police,” Matt snapped.

“You were calling the Fakes, which is worse than the police,” Trevor replied before continuing, “Ramsey’s pissed at me so unless you want blood on your floor don’t call them.”

It was a little disheartening to feel Jeremy’s glare boring into the back of his head, but Trevor ignored it. Hearing a phone start ringing, Trevor looked around quickly, but eventually pulled his own phone out of his pocket. It was Ramsey.

Looking between Matt and Jeremy, Trevor sighed before tossing the keys to the bike on the floor. The Fakes would be able to get them from Matt. Leaving the apartment, Trevor flipped open the phone.

“Thanks for the fucking warning Zed,” Trevor was greeted with.

“I called you and left a bunch of messages and even tried to get to the club to warn you guys directly,” Trevor started his excuse as to why Ramsey shouldn’t kill him before continuing, “I helped get one of the civs out too so I was ju-“

“Yeah, yeah whatever I don’t care. You did good, kid. If I hadn’t gotten your warnings things would have been worse. They were pretty sucky, but I got Mogar and Vagabond to the club in time to kill off the group that tried the hit. I know I sent you a nasty text, but whatever all is forgiven and shit. I have another job for you. Find out who called this hit. The guys we killed had nothing to indicate who ordered it and I need the crew on other stuff. Figure it out fast and there’ll be a bonus for you. Good luck Zed,” Ramsey said, not allowing Trevor to get a word in. 

Glaring at the phone, Trevor sighed and left the doorway of Jeremy and Matt’s apartment. He had work to do.

\----------

It took a month to track anyone down. The person who ordered the hit on the Fakes’ club had been careful. Apparently, he realized that the Fakes would come back with a vengeance and had buried his influence pretty well. In searching for his hand in the hit, Trevor had to torture a lot of people. Well, not a lot, but four which meant one a week. It started with the one guy the Fakes didn’t kill from the club and turned into him pointing out who paid him and then just snowballed into a lot of different things.

Though, that time wasn’t filled solely with torture and information gathering. During that time, Trevor managed to convince Jeremy to hang out with him outside of the bakery. It was a lot of fun being around the other guy. They had gone to an arcade which was fun. Playing two player games with each other they’d both found things they were good at. Jeremy played most shooters without any issue whereas Trevor had destroyed Jeremy at the dance games. It was after the arcade that they went and got pizza that they started talking about themselves.

“So what do you do anyway?” Jeremy asked around a piece of pizza.

Shrugging, Trevor said, “This and that. I’m kind of just a handyman I guess. Work my own hours. Fix things up for people when they need them.” Trevor just hopped the lie didn’t raise too many questions. He hadn’t really decided how to say, ‘yeah I’m a big time criminal and you’ve actually seen me as that twice now. Okay bye.’

“Cool. What kind of things do you fix?”

“Just whatever people need me to. It’s mostly helping little old ladies move around furniture without scratching things up,” Trevor lied. As Jeremy opened his mouth to probably ask another question, Trevor interrupted, “Why did you become a baker?”

Jeremy seemed confused by the sudden question, but smiled after a second. “I used to get into fights all the time when I was a kid. I was really angry and well I’ve always been kind of short so kids would make fun of me for it. I used to respond by punching them in the face. It caused me to get suspended and eventually expelled from quite a few schools. I wasn’t doing very well because of it and eventually all the schools around my parents’ house had expelled me. They didn’t want to let me just not go to school so they sent me to live with my grandma. She was the first adult to kind of understand why I was so angry all the time and instead of yelling at me for fighting she told me to use my energy somewhere else. She was actually the one to teach me to bake. I did that instead of fighting people. It helped that the school I transferred to was where I met Matt and having a close friend for once helped me calm down a little. I actually had a bakery for a little bit with my grandmother. After I graduated high school she used her money to help me open it and helped me with the baking… Matt worked there too.”

The sad look on Jeremy’s face told Trevor all he needed to know about why Jeremy and Matt had ended up moving away. Looking at the other, Trevor offered a soft smile and said, “Well maybe you could teach me to bake something sometime… I’ve never been great at cooking or baking so it’d be cool to learn from a master.”

Perking up, Jeremy offered Trevor a big smile and said, “Yeah it’s a date.”

A moment of awkward silence passed.

“Uh I mean that is if you want it to be like that it can just be like a friend thing and yeah… Sorry,” Jeremy muttered quickly.

Trevor could feel the butterflies in his stomach trying to burst out of him. “That sounds like a perfect date.”

The smile Jeremy and Trevor shared made Trevor thankful that he’d chosen Jeremy’s shop to hide from those guys.

\----------

A week passed before Jeremy and Trevor were able to have their date. Trevor had gotten busy with work because he was close to figuring out who had attacked the club and he was starting to get paranoid about being attacked for looking into it. The farther Trevor looked, the worse things got. It seemed like the second biggest gang in the city was trying to make a move onto the Fakes’ territory and if that was true the result of it would be a gang war. The last gang war between gangs this big brought up bad memories for Trevor and it seemed like he was going to end up in the middle of it again. After all the other gang employed Trevor too. He’d have to choose between the two and he already knew he’d side with the Fakes, but the other group knew Trevor’s face and where he lived. He was going to be in danger if something happened.

Trevor put that all out of his mind though as he entered Jeremy’s bakery. It was Jeremy’s off day, but he’d said he wanted to show off all his equipment to which Trevor started snickering. Either way, looking around the back, Trevor found himself intimidated. There was a lot of stuff that Trevor had never seen before. He figured they’d be using a bowl and a mixer and an oven. Looking at the spread Jeremy was standing in front of, Trevor was very wrong apparently.

As Jeremy turned around with a grin, though, Trevor knew the pain of struggling through baking would be very worth it.

After a couple of hours of trying to learn to bake, Trevor’s cupcakes turned out squishy and kind of nasty whereas Jeremy’s came out perfectly. With a sigh, Trevor just shook his head before laughing a little. “Well apparently I’m unteachable. Guess I’ll just have to keep coming back to your shop and paying you to make me stuff.”

Jeremy chuckled at that and said, “How about we go out front and eat a couple of these then?”

Nodding, Trevor followed Jeremy out into the front of the shop and sat at one of the tables, taking a bite of the cupcake placed in front of him. Letting out a noise of contentment, Trevor closed his eyes for a second and said, “This is the best fucking thing I’ve ever had, Jeremy.”

“Glad you like it. You can take the rest I made home with you if you want,” Jeremy offered with a grin.

Trevor was definitely going to take him up on that, but before he was able to voice that thought, the bell of the door jingled. Turning to look at the door, Trevor felt his stomach drop suddenly.

Standing up, Trevor put himself in between Jeremy and the four men that had entered the shop, ignoring Jeremy as Jeremy snapped, “Hey we’re closed right now.”

Trevor’s blood turned to ice as one of the four men stepped forward and said, “Well hello there, Zed. I think it’s time we had a little chat.”


	4. memories never die

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Old wounds heal over time, but reopening scars is often more painful than what causes the scar in the first place.

Ignoring Jeremy’s look of surprise was hard. Trevor knew the other was trying to piece together why the four men who had barged into the bakery called Trevor ‘Zed.’ Jeremy didn’t know that Trevor and Zed were the same person despite having met both parts of Trevor. It wasn’t the way Trevor wanted to reveal himself to Jeremy, but there wasn’t really much Trevor could do about that. Standing in front of Jeremy, Trevor’s fingers twitched. He wanted to grab the knife in his pocket, but he also assumed the men in front of them had guns and wouldn’t hesitate to use them.

After a tense moment passed, Trevor commanded, “Jeremy go to the back.”

“Aw Zed do you not want your friend to be here talking about how you need to get the Fakes off our backs?” One of the men stepped forward and grinned at Trevor. “I think he should see who his friend really is. I mean we’ve been watching you to make sure you weren’t sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong. It seems like your little friend there doesn’t know about your business. It’s not nice to lie to your friends, Zed.”

Trevor felt Jeremy step around him and tried to stop him, but was pushed past easily. “What are you talking about?” Jeremy demanded.

“Jeremy, was it? Well… dear Jeremy, do you know just how many people Zed, or rather, Trevor has killed?” The man said with a smirk, taking too much pleasure in revealing Trevor to Jeremy.

Putting his hand in his pocket, Trevor pulled out the knife he always kept on him, but froze as a gun was pulled and trained on him. “What do you want Yuri?”

Yuri, the man speaking, turned to Trevor finally and addressed him. “I want you to throw the Fakes off our trail. I know you’ve put together the fact that we were the ones who attacked their territory. We’re getting ready to start a war against them… I’m here to make sure you’re on the right side of that war. Boss has been looking to make a job offer to you, Zed. We need a good torturer and other than the Fakes’ Vagabond, you’re the best. Why don’t you come with us and we’ll have a chat with your new boss?”

Normally, Trevor would tell these guys to go fuck themselves, but he wasn’t alone. Trevor wasn’t just trying to keep himself alive, he was trying to keep Jeremy alive too. Which was odd for Trevor. He’d never given a crap whether someone with him got hurt along the way. If a crew or a person got in the way of Trevor surviving, he would abandon them without a second thought. Maybe that was because of his parents trying to use him to get out of their own shit. He could still remember it, being pushed at scary men with guns and being told that he belonged to them. He was eight fucking years old, but this wasn’t a good time to think about that.

“Alright,” Trevor replied quietly. He would go with them to protect Jeremy. If he went quietly, maybe they would just let Jeremy go. It would at least make the situation less of a lose-lose situation.

Trevor’s blood turned cold though, as Yuri said, “Of course… Your friend will be accompanying us.”

Tightening his grip on his knife, Trevor glared at him and snapped, “Why?”

The grin on Yuri’s face stuck Trevor with a sharp fear that they wouldn’t be making it to the next day alive and in one piece. “We’ve heard that his roommate has a rather personal with one of the Fakes. Now, they’ve got him under enough surveillance that we can’t just grab him without making it obvious. Jeremy, here, would be a decent amount of leverage. After all I’m sure the Fakes wouldn’t want their friend to go through the pain of losing someone he cares about, right? So, you’ll both come and talk to our boss. Provided you cooperate then we can assure you’ll make it out in one piece and some cash even.”

 As Trevor debated mentally what he wanted to do it felt like time slowed down. Eyes flicked to look at all four of the people, Trevor knew that if he threw his knife at Yuri it would distract at least one of them so they would protect their leader. That left two which meant that Trevor would have to try and shove both himself and Jeremy behind the counter before the two pulled their guns. It became a bet as to whether Trevor could be faster than them. He knew he had five more knives on him, but only three more were good throwing knives and Trevor didn’t want to try and knife fight someone with a gun. Especially since that would leave Jeremy vulnerable. 

“I won’t tell you guys shit.”

A voice broke Trevor from his thoughts and he glanced at Jeremy who was standing diagonally from him. Seeing the serious look on his face, Trevor was struck with the memory of first meeting Jeremy. Holding a gun on the man and seeing the fact that he wasn’t scared of it had shaken Trevor back then. Now, Trevor could see the shake of Jeremy’s hands and the bead of sweat running down his forehead. Jeremy was scared and if that didn’t give Trevor a reason to act, nothing would.

Not bothering to address Yuri again, Trevor hurled his knife at Yuri, hearing his yell in pain as Trevor turned and tackled Jeremy, landing behind the counter. Cussing, Trevor felt a burn rip across his leg, but ignored it in favor of pushing Jeremy towards the back entrance. “Go Jeremy!”

Pulling another knife out, Trevor waited for a break in the firing to jump up and fling a knife at them. As Trevor popped up, though, he spotted the gun pointed at him and hesitated, fear striking him just long enough for the man to fire a shot, the bullet embedding itself into Trevor’s shoulder. Dropping the knife, Trevor stumbled backwards and was struck with the thought, _This is the end._

Strong hands suddenly grabbed Trevor and pulled him back through the door away from the men. Dropping to a knee as the hands let him go, Trevor saw Jeremy locking the door of the back room. Trevor clutched the shoulder wound and focused on his breathing. Now that they were out of the gun fire, panic was setting in, alone with shock from the two bullet wounds Trevor was sporting. Fast, shallow breaths puffed out of Trevor’s mouth as he heard Jeremy talking rapidly on the phone. It was like his ears were stuffed with cotton though. Trevor couldn’t hear anything other than the pounding of his own heart. He felt like he was going to puke as the world began to throb around him, pain radiating through his body as images of a man holding a gun to his head swam through his vision. A man. The man Trevor feared the most. The reason Trevor hated guns. The man who owned him. The ghost that followed him. The cold metal to his head. The pain radiating in him. The despair of knowing he was going to die. The click of an empty gun. The cruel angry laughter of a mad man. And then….

Nothing.

\----------

Waking up after passing out was never pleasant and unfortunately, Trevor had a lot of experience with it. Blinking, Trevor sluggishly attempted to sit up, putting weight on his left arm, but crumpling back into the bed when pain coursed through his arm. Trevor felt a hand on his chest, keeping him down before he finally cleared his eyes enough to look at the person the arm belonged to. Jack Pattillo, Ramey’s right hand man, entered Trevor’s vision and he opened his mouth to ask where he was when Jack spoke.

“Zed… Trevor, you need to stay in the bed. You lost a lot of blood and gave yourself a concussion when you passed out. You’re in our headquarters right now, safe. Jeremy and Matt got you here. We had our medic perform a surgery on you to get the bullet out of your shoulder. You’ve been out for a day. Geoff will want to talk to you, but for now just go back to sleep. You need your rest. I’ll let everyone know you woke up, okay?”

Trevor nodded lightly before following Jack’s movements to an IV that was in his arm. Watching Jack push a syringe into the tube, Trevor was overcome with a wave of numbness suddenly before slipping back into unconsciousness once more.

The second time, Trevor woke up he was much more lucid. Looking around, Trevor managed to pull himself into a sitting position without hurting himself. Scanning himself, Trevor spotted gauze wrapped around his leg, probably were he got grazed with a bullet, though it looked like it was a little worse than a graze. Trevor also noticed that his left arm was in a sling, lots of bandages wrapped around his shoulder. At the sound of a throat clearing, Trevor spotted Matt awkwardly standing to his side.

“Hey dude. Glad you didn’t die or anything. Jack said that you’d probably wake up soon and I figured a familiar face might be nice, you know? I tried to get Jeremy to wait with me, but uh… he’s a little pissed that you didn’t tell him about the whole being a criminal thing,” Matt said, laughing awkwardly.

“Why aren’t you upset too?”

A shrug was given in response before Matt decided to elaborate. “Well if I learned anything dating a criminal myself I get the need to keep the two lives separate. Speak of the devil.”

Looking at the door, Trevor saw Gavin Free walk into the room. Gavin walked over to Matt and slung an arm around his waist before pressing a kiss to the other’s temple. It was surprisingly domestic to see given that Trevor knew Gavin’s history as a criminal. After all, half the reason Gavin’s name held the power it did was because of his violent past. To see him acting so domestic was just weird to Trevor.

“Trevor you feeling good enough to have a chat? Caleb said when you woke up you’d be okay to move around a bit. You’ll have to use the crutch cause he doesn’t want you to cause your leg to start bleeding again, but Geoffrey would really like to talk to you,” Gavin said, turning to Trevor and becoming more of the business-like Golden Boy Trevor had come to know.

Nodding quickly, Trevor swung his legs over to the side of the bed and grabbed the crutch that was leaning against the wall. Putting his uninjured leg down first, Trevor heaved himself to his feet, using the crutch to keep most of his weight off his injured leg. Trekking through the Fakes’ headquarters, Trevor spotted all the different Fakes’, but didn’t say anything to them. The person he was searching for didn’t seem to be anywhere in sight.

“Jeremy’s in the room that we gave him. He doesn’t really want to see you, man,” Matt remarked bluntly as he followed behind Trevor.

Making a noise to indicate he heard the other, Trevor just continued slowly walking until he reached Geoff’s office. Trevor had been there a couple of times to discuss jobs and give reports, but had only ever gone to Geoff’s office. Knocking on the door, Trevor pushed it open when he was given the affirmative and walked inside, hearing Matt and Gavin follow him in.

Looking at Geoff, Trevor was struck with just how worn down the other looked. “We’ve gotten the story of what happened in the bakery from Jeremy. I want to know what you learned before yesterday that caused Baldwin to send his goons after you,” Geoff said, getting to business immediately.

That was probably the reason they saved Trevor, just to get the information he had from him. At least, that was what Trevor thought. It made sense to Trevor, after all. If Trevor was dead they wouldn’t have found out who attacked their club or what was going on with Baldwin’s gang. They saved him for information and for some reason that made Trevor sad. Pushing the thought out of the way, Trevor responded, “Baldwin ordered a hit on your club with hired mercenaries. I think he actually hired someone to hire the mercenaries and then killed that person so it would be harder to trace it back to him. From what I’ve seen of it and from what Yuri said, I think they’re planning on trying to start a gang war with you guys. I don’t think they’re prepared to launch a war right now though…. That’s why they went to such lengths to hide their attack. I’m pretty sure they plan to do more attacks like that to weaken you and use up your resources so when they do start their war they have a better chance of winning it. I also have the location of a few of Baldwin’s hideouts. I’m sure you guys know that I take jobs for him on occasion too, though now that he tried to have me killed I’d love to help you guys fuck him over.”

A nod was given to Trevor before Geoff looked between Matt and Trevor. “Good. You two and your friend can stay here for the next few weeks. Both your apartments have been ransacked by Baldwin’s gang, as you know Matt. Trevor the stuff my boys recovered is in the room that you can stay in. Gavin I know you’ll be staying with Matt, but I’ll make sure to have either Mogar or Vagabond here to help keep guard. I also want you monitoring chatter so if it looks like Baldwin has figured out where our HQ is we can move you four to a safe house. Trevor, later Jack will bring you a map so you can mark out those safe houses out. I’d also like a list of whatever resources you know Baldwin has. For now go get rest, you look dead as dicks.”

With that, Trevor hobbled out of the room. Looking at Matt, Trevor asked, “Which room is Jeremy in?”

For a second, Matt seemed to think about whether he wanted to tell Trevor or not, but the other reached a conclusion quickly and answered, “That one,” with a finger pointing out the door.

Hobbling to the door, Trevor knocked lightly and prayed that Jeremy would actually answer it. As the door cracked open, Trevor spotted a sour looking Jeremy.

“What do you want?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So did anyone guess that it was Gavin that Matt was dating? I really like Matt/Gavin for some reason, plus rare pairs are really fun. Also have another cliffhanger because I love cliffhangers :D


	5. what goes up, must come down

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things get really really good and then really really bad.

It was easy to tell that Jeremy was pissed especially when he was just glaring at Trevor without saying a word. Shuffling on his feet awkwardly, Trevor tried to think of something to say to the other. “Uh… I’m glad you’re okay.”

“What the fuck were you thinking?” Jeremy snapped, standing up and in front of Trevor. Despite having killed and tortured before, Trevor felt fear flicker in his gut and then confusion.

“What do you mean?”

“You almost fucking died trying to keep me away from those assholes! I have a fucking gun in my shop for a reason, but because you had to play hero and keep me behind you, you got shot twice. I called Matt hoping he’d know what to do and you’re lucky as shit that he’s dating a fucking gang member because otherwise you and I would both be dead. I don’t need to be protected especially not by someone who didn’t tell me about the double life they’re leading. I mean really? The Fakes are much higher profile than you and they didn’t hide themselves from Matt. What was it some kind of plot to be my friend?” Jeremy yelled.

The bad thing was, whenever Trevor got yelled at he would withdraw. It was a defense mechanism for when he was part of a gang. If someone was yelling at you it meant you fucked up and fucking up meant being punished. Flinching as Jeremy took another step towards him, Trevor threw up his hand in defense and quickly said, “I’m sorry.”

Seeing Trevor flinch and almost cower away from him, at least made Jeremy back down.

Looking at Jeremy, Trevor frowned deeply. “I didn’t mean to lie. I mean I did, but I wasn’t doing it to gain something. It’s just the first night that I met you, you just helped me a lot even though those guys after me would have done some horrible shit to you if they found out that you had lied to them and I was… curious. People in this city don’t help other people without something to gain. And then I figured you didn’t want someone like me as a friend and so I didn’t want to tell you because I-“

Trevor cut himself off swiftly and looked away. He knew the end to that sentence wasn’t something he wanted to accept. He knew the end of that sentence was how much he trusted Jeremy… how Jeremy was probably the first person since his parents that Trevor trusted with his life. Having someone not connected to the underbelly of the city was a dream for Trevor. Having a friend was a foreign concept for Trevor and he knew that if he told Jeremy about being Zed, Jeremy would get dragged down into the criminal world. Trevor hadn’t wanted that, but it was too late then.

There was a moment of silence before the anger seemed to leave Jeremy. “Okay. I’m still pissed that you were so busy trying to protect me that you got shot, but I’ll forgive you for lying to me. I’m glad you’re not dead at least. It’s not like I’m completely ignorant of what this city is like and Matt’s a fucking stick. I’ve learned to protect myself and him. I don’t need your protection.”

Rubbing the back of his neck, Trevor suddenly felt flustered, “I well, I was just worried because I don’t know how often you’ve been shot at and there were four of them so I just wanted to make sure you escaped because I mean I really like you and you’re really nice so I’d hate for you to die before I even get to ask- Uh never mind.”

“Ask?”

A blush lit up on Trevor’s face as he muttered quickly, “Well I was kind of going to ask you out yesterday while we were hanging out.”

Immediately after speaking, Trevor was unable to make eye contact with Jeremy and looked anywhere but the other quickly. After a quick moment of silence, Trevor turned around for the door with a quick mutter of “sorry” and a sense of irony that he was a hardened criminal scared of having a stupid crush on someone.

Before Trevor was able to open the door though, there was a hand on his shoulder pulling him and forcing him to turn around. Shutting his eyes, Trevor was sure he was going to get yelled at or punched or something. As lips pressed to his, Trevor’s eyes opened in surprise before he let his eyes slip back closed and kissed Jeremy back. Pulling away after a minute, Trevor stared at Jeremy in surprise.

Seeing Jeremy break out into a grin, Trevor let out the breath he’d been holding. Jeremy quickly said, “I wanted to ask you out too. I mean baking with you like that almost felt like a date anyway.”

Smiling wildly, Trevor leaned back in to kiss the other again when he heard a wolf whistle behind him and turned around, blush returning to his face. Matt and Gavin were standing in the doorway with a grin on Gavin’s face and a smirk on Matt’s face.

“I was wondering when you two were finally going to fuck. The sexual tension was so thick I thought Jeremy’s dick was going to explode,” Matt said with a laugh as Jeremy started to blush just as harshly as Jeremy.

“What do you guys want?” Trevor demanded.

“Rye’s got a map downstairs for you to mark out safe houses for us. Down by his car cause he wants to go scope them out after you mark the map,” Gavin explained calmly. “I’ll walk you down so Matt can ask for all the dirty details and tell me them later.”

A mischievous grin was plastered to Gavin’s face as he turned around to walk away. Giving, Jeremy a glance, Trevor just shook his head as he followed behind Gavin. The blush was still present on his face as Trevor followed Gavin, thinking about the way Jeremy’s lips felt on him and the happiness he felt at confessing his feelings. Sure, they would have to talk about things like where they stood, but Trevor felt pretty good about considering them dating. After things calmed down, Trevor would make sure they went on a real date, but right then, Trevor was just happy to know that he had something to look forward to.

Getting down to street level with Gavin, Trevor gave him a wave before turning to the Vagabond, or Ryan as the others called him. A marker and a map was offered to Trevor and he quickly started marking the different places on map for Ryan. He knew the faster Ryan went out and scoped out the safe houses and warehouses, the faster they would be destroyed and the faster that Trevor would be safe again.

Staring at the map, Trevor tried to make sure he had all the marks down clearly and that he hadn’t forgotten once. Focusing hard, Trevor ignored the sound of cars passing them on the street. They were downtown so cars passed quickly by. If they were out in the country Trevor probably would have jumped at the sound of every car, but with how hard he was staring at the map, Trevor wasn’t paying attention. Hearing a grunt and the sound of someone falling down, Trevor looked up quickly and saw nothing other than the pistol that whipped across his face before he crumpled to the ground. Trying to get back up and look up at his assailant, Trevor rolled over as a sharp kick was delivered into his side. Staring up at the sky, Trevor gasped for breath as the last thing he saw was a boot coming down onto his head.

\----------

A couple hours later, Ryan was back in the penthouse, an icepack was pressed to his head by Jack. Ryan looked at Jack with sad eyes as he said, “I should have been able to stop them. They hit me from behind. I shouldn’t have been caught off guard.”

Jack carded her fingers through Ryan’s hair and lovingly pressed a kiss to the top of Ryan’s head. “All I care about is that you’re okay. Geoff however will be freaking out, but he is the worrier of our relationship.”

Letting out a shaky laugh, Ryan flinched as a door banged open. Looking up, Ryan spotted Jeremy and felt a twinge of guilt in his gut. Staring silently at Jeremy, Ryan was able to see that Jeremy already knew the answer as Jeremy asked, “Where’s Trevor?”

Ryan’s gaze hit the floor as he quietly said, “I’m sorry… They took him.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I felt really evil writing the end to this rather short chapter, but uhhhhh things are gonna get a lot worse next chapter so you know you have that to look forward to? Just you know at least Jeremy and Trevor got together?


	6. the ghosts that haunt us

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I've come too far to see the end now even if my way is wrong, I keep pushing on and on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So you may have noticed I changed the rating from mature to explicit. That's not for sex or anything it's because this chapter had explicit details of torture and the aftermath of it and a lot of other really heavy subjects. Take the tags seriously please. If you'd like to still read this story but don't want to read the torture, shoot me a message and I'll give you an overview of what happened.

Waking up after being knock out was never a fun feeling and unfortunately, Trevor had a little experience with it. Licking his lips, Trevor tried to get the cotton feeling out of his mouth, but it was too dry. Trying to look around, Trevor easily discerned that he was blindfolded, typical kidnapping situation. Trevor did that to his torture victims. Blindfold them and keep them disoriented to prevent them from getting stable. It led to more information being freely given. Luckily, Trevor was so experienced in the art of torture he was able to calm himself and not do the stereotypical thing of shouting at his kidnappers to tell him where he was.

At least, Trevor was calm until he thought about Jeremy and the Fakes. There was no way they would come after Trevor. It was too risky and Trevor wasn’t one of them. The Vagabond could do better than Trevor. Trevor was… expendable.

That was when the fear set in for Trevor. If he was alive still it was probably because whoever captured him wanted information or maybe it was just for revenge. Trevor had little pieces of information on every gang that would hurt them, but nothing that would bring them down entirely. Baldwin and the Fakes, however, were the exception. Trevor knew where a lot of their safe houses were and who their inner members were along with who the inner members cared about most and where they frequented. Trevor’s information would be dangerous used against either gang which made Trevor hope it was someone looking for revenge and not Baldwin that took him.

Shifting a bit, Trevor tested his bonds and found that they were tight. It was some kind of cable from the feeling. Probably stronger than rope. Perking his ears up, Trevor tried to listen to see if he could hear anyone. All he heard was the working machines and came to the conclusion that he was in a factory building.

Liking his lips again, Trevor asked, “Baldwin?”

“Never was able to pull the wool over your eyes, were we?” A chilling voice spoke before Trevor’s blindfold was ripped off his head and he started blinking against the light in the room. It wasn’t bright, but going from complete darkness to a little light was never fun.

Looking up, Trevor saw Baldwin standing next to a woman Trevor recognized as Baldwin’s number one torturer when he couldn’t call Trevor. Spotting the array of tools laid out on the table next to them, Trevor got the feeling that his torment would be about both revenge and information.

Trevor would have been lying if he said it didn’t scare him at all.

The woman, Jane, was sharpening a knife while staring at Trevor, her face blank. Trevor had taught her most of what she knew. Baldwin had paid him well to do it too. It was a little ironic it was coming back around to bite him.

Letting a breath go, Trevor tried to keep an air of calmness about him as he focused on Baldwin. It wouldn’t do him any good to focus on the woman. She wasn’t the one in charge. “What do you want Baldwin?”

The smirk on Baldwin’s face didn’t bode well for Trevor. “You, dead. But slowly and painfully. Of course, after we squeeze out what you know about the Fakes.”

“That’s not great torture practice. Normally you promise to let the person go in exchange for the information,” Trevor mocked.

“Don’t worry, I was always going to kill you. When I promised you a job full time after you helped with the Fakes I never planned to do that. I want you dead, dear Trevor. After all, you killed my partner, Zidick. He took you in after your useless parents gave you up and in exchange you killed him. He was a good business partner. He was setting me up to get into politics in this city so we could have controlled it. You killed him before that happened. I mean I planned to double cross him, myself, but you destroyed the entire gang. Everyone scattered after he died. Little baby Trevor, killer of gangs. I think you were what? 18 years old? Ten years of Zidick grooming you and you killed him.”

Trevor screwed his eyes shut halfway through Baldwin’s words. Zidick, the man who haunted Trevor even to that day. Just the name struck Trevor with fear. He’d thought killing the man would free him, but it didn’t. It just created a ghost to haunt him until he died. Trevor barely heard Baldwin as he kept talking, trying to take in deep breaths to calm himself down from the rising panic. Every time Zidick crossed Trevor’s mind he was on the verge of panic. He couldn’t help it. He’d spent ten hellish years with Zidick. Ten years of his childhood stolen. Ten years of constant fear. And somehow Zidick made it seem like it was all Trevor’s fault.

A sudden sharp pain pierced through Trevor’s shoulder and he let out an involuntary scream, eyes flying open looking to his shoulder. A knife stuck its way out of his shoulder and Trevor felt tears start to rise in his eyes. Looking back up, Trevor saw Jane smirking at him with another knife in her hand before his head was forcibly pulled back to look at Baldwin.

“I’d really appreciate it, Trevor, if you’d pay attention to me,” Baldwin growled as he took hold of the knife and slowly began to twist it, “while I’m _talking to you._ ”

Panting loudly, Trevor tried to get a grip on his situation. It’d been a while since he’d last been tortured. Years even. Normally Trevor was good at being slippery and getting away before anyone could hurt him. When someone did catch him to torture him, Trevor was normally able to get out of it easily, but that was when the kidnappers stupidly tied him with zip ties or thin rope. The cord around his wrists and ankles felt like metal. They also hadn’t left him alone yet and Trevor had a feeling they wouldn’t. Trevor had, after all, taught Jane to never leave a victim alone unless they were unconscious and even then to make sure they were secured extra tight even when unconscious. Trevor still had scars from the times he’d made the mistake of leaving a victim alone without anyone watching.

Eyes connecting with Baldwin’s, Trevor stared at him for a moment before snapping, “I don’t care what you do to me, I’m not going to tell you anything.” Sure, it was bad practice to give emotion to a tormentor, but Trevor had been put off by the knowledge of his past.

“You know, he always did say you were a stubborn one. Something about not knowing when to give up. He told me he was grooming you to be his heir, said he saw potential in you. I guess that’s why he kept torturing you. Trying to toughen you up. He told me you were too much of a crybaby, but that if he could just “beat it out of you” you’d be a perfect weapon for him to use.” Baldwin smirked as he spoke before swiftly punching Trevor in the eye, following that up with a hook into Trevor’s jaw, and ending with wrenching the knife free of his shoulder and stabbing it into the other one.

As Trevor bent over, biting his lips so hard it drew blood, he felt tears spring to his eyes and heard Baldwin laugh. “I guess he didn’t ever manage to beat it out of you before he killed you.”

“Jane.” Baldwin barked as he held out the hand smeared with Trevor’s blood. As Jane handed Baldwin a rag and the man wiped the blood off of himself, Baldwin seemed to observe Trevor for a moment before grinning once more and snarling, “I might not be able to beat crying out of you, but by the time we’re done with you… You’ll be wishing your dead.”

Pulling up Trevor’s face by his hair, Baldwin got into the other’s bruising face. “After all, isn’t that what Zidick did to you? Make you hurt so much you begged for death and then refused to give it to you? I’ve got to say, for such an asshole he’s the reason you’re still alive, why you’re so good at what you did? You were his favorite little apprentice.”

The words rang in Trevor’s head and he felt like he was going to be sick. He couldn’t feel anything, but the pain radiating from his body and the warmth of the blood trickling down his arms. Seeing Baldwin rear back with his fist again, Trevor screwed his eyes shut and gave himself away to pain.

\----------

The beating and torture didn’t stop even after Baldwin left. After he’d had a long go rhythmically working Trevor over, Jane took his place. Eventually even she left him alone to another torturer. The second Trevor started to pass out they would inject him with some drug that lit his nerves on end and forced him awake.

It felt like every inch of Trevor’s body was bruised. Just drawing in breath was agony. At least two of his ribs had to have been broken. The wounds and cuts hadn’t been stitched up, but taped shut loosely. That didn’t mean anything either as one of his tormenters had spent the entire time slowly ripping open each old wound until Trevor was hoarse from screaming. Well, not until he was hoarse. That would imply that they stopped. They hadn’t stopped. It wasn’t ever going to stop. Even shutting his eyes caused pain to ricochet throughout Trevor’s body. It felt like his body was just going to give out if it continued. They weren’t even asking him questions then. They were just hurting him until he felt like he was nothing. They were breaking him back down into the scared kid he used to be.

At some point in the torture, an IV drip had been pushed into his arm. It was probably the only thing keeping him from dying of blood loss. Maybe they’d even pumped more blood into him to keep him going. It was all blurring into one mass of pain at that point.

Taking a few shallow breaths, Trevor painfully lifted his head as he heard a noise. It’d been a bit since the last strike of pain so Trevor was getting a little curious about what was going on. Looking around, Trevor saw he was alone and could have cried tears of joy at the sight, but was stopped as the door opened again to show Baldwin and Jane entering the room once more.

“Dear Trevor, my boy, are you ready to share your little secrets?” Baldwin almost sang as he walked up to the slumped form of Trevor.

Glaring at Baldwin with his one good eye, Trevor cracked his raw throat to speak. “ _Go fuck yourself._ ”

A ‘tsk’ing noise was all Trevor got in response before a hand carded its way through Trevor’s dark hair, almost petting him. After all the pain, Trevor almost wanted to relax into the gentle touch on his head. Sighing, Trevor started to slump his head back down before the hand in his hair tightened and pulled his head back once more. “It’s okay if you don’t want to talk. I’m sure you’ll have lots to say later, but for now we’re going to let our little boy here take a nap, right Jane? After all, the next toy we’ve got for you takes a little set up that we’d really rather you be asleep for.”

Trevor yanked and pulled against the grip in his head with what little strength he had as he spotted a syringe coming towards his neck, but it was to no avail as the needle pierced his skin and the flame lit him up, engulfing him from the inside. Tears streaming down his face, Trevor felt blood in the back of his throat as he screamed before things went black again.

The black faded into Trevor’s vision before fading out again, leaving him laying down and blinking at a pool of water laying above him. Looking around, Trevor found that he was lying in a pool similar to the one above him. Staring at his hands, Trevor was surprised to see himself unharmed. All he could remember was the searing pain before. That was when it clicked. He was dreaming.

Looking around again, Trevor shifted and tried to move, but found that he wasn’t able to go anywhere other than to just float on the pool of water. Maybe it wasn’t a dream at all. Maybe he was finally dead. Maybe he could finally rest.

Closing his eyes, Trevor welcomed the idea of being dead until he heard a noise. Eyes snapping open, Trevor saw a woman in front of him and immediately assumed he was in hell.

“Trevor, dear I’m so sorry. I have to. He’s going to kill your father and I if I don’t. It’ll be fast, honey. Remember when we had you practice wearing body armor? You didn’t even realized I’d fired the gun before the bullet hit your armor. It’ll be just like that. Darling, don’t worry… you won’t feel a thing. Just… just remember Trevor, your father and I love you,” the woman pleaded, holding a gun level with Trevor’s head. In the background a man formed, his chin and jaw mirroring that of Trevor’s. The woman had Trevor’s eyes for some reason.

Before Trevor knew what he was doing a shaky voice left his throat. “Mom what’s going on? Who- who is that man? Did he say you have to shoot me? Please mommy I don’t want to leave. Please don’t make me go! Daddy you won’t let her right? I don’t want to die please. I- I don’t want to-“

Trevor flinched as the trigger was pulled and saw the look of shock spread on his mother and his father’s faces, his mother bursting into tears Trevor had never seen before that night. A cold laughter rang out through the room and Trevor felt like his blood was turning to ice.

A new man entered Trevor’s vision with two others behind him. The man knelt down in front of Trevor and used one hand to move Trevor’s face around. “Your parents are dead now. You’ll be coming with me, but don’t worry. I’ll take much better care of you. Trevor Beaudoix right? Hmmm that doesn’t sound great… How about Trevor Collins? That sounds good. You’re Trevor Collins now, alright?”

A timid nod was all the man got in response and Trevor felt his stomach sink as he was given a wicked grin in return.

“ _Perfect._ ”

Jarringly Trevor’s perspective changed and he was watching a child being held down and whipped on the back. The man from the first vision was back, but then Trevor had a name to put to the face… Zidick. Zidick held the whip and cracked it over the black haired child’s back, then only ten years old.

“Son you’ve been slow on your runs lately. I don’t want to do this to you, but if you’re going to eat and live under my roof you’ll have to be a quick little drug mule alright? I know you’re scared of it since your little friend had a balloon burst in her, but don’t worry. I won’t let that happen to you. Do you know why?”

The child knew what response the man wanted, but the child was stubborn. He didn’t want to say it. He knew what had happened to his parents for disobedience, but still the child didn’t care. He was in hell and didn’t see how it was possible for it to get any worse. “I hate you. I wish you were dead!”

The whip cracked again and the boy screamed loudly. Zidick turned to one of the men in the room and commanded, “George, put him back into the box. I think a little more time there will make him much more amiable.”

As the boy was picked up forcibly, he started shrieking and trashing, trying to escape. “Please no, no not the box please! I don’t want to be in the dark. I don’t want to be near those things please!”

A box nearby was opened revealing snakes writhing around. The box wasn’t big enough for the boy to stretch out, but just big enough for him to be placed inside. The box was shut firmly with the boy inside, muffling his screams as Zidick approached him and said, “When you get out I think we’ll talk about a new position for you. I don’t think you’re reaching your full potential as a drug mule…”

“Until then, _Trevor_.”

A moment passed before Trevor was seeing things from his perspective again. Looking around, Trevor saw a gun in his hand and a knife in the other. Trevor knew he was 16 as he stared down a girl in front of him that couldn’t have been older than him. She was some politician’s daughter, but Trevor didn’t care. All he knew was that it was him or her. If he disobeyed, Trevor would disappoint his father and disappointing Zidick meant pain. After all, if he didn’t understand the pain then how would he have been able to effectively inflict the pain? At least that was what Zidick said and Trevor had learned that Zidick was never wrong.

Looking at the girl, Trevor set the gun aside before grabbing the girl’s hand and holding the knife over her finger. He rose up with it, preparing to chop down when the girl screamed and begged for him to stop.

A part of Trevor stuttered. He couldn’t disobey, but he didn’t want to hurt her. He didn’t want to hurt anyone, he just wanted his own pain to stop. Trevor didn’t know what to do. It felt like two of him were stuck in his body. One, the part that just wanted to rip apart and destroy the world. Two, the part of him that wanted to protect and save the world from its own destruction. Trevor was powerless though. He couldn’t do anything to prevent it. If he didn’t cut off her finger for the proof of life then someone else would and Trevor would be punished. Trevor didn’t want to be put into more pain.

Staring at the girl, Trevor gulped and muttered, “I’m sorry…” before swinging down and cutting off her pointer finger without another word. The girl shrieked and cried, but Trevor numbed himself to it. It was better her than him. It didn’t matter anyway. Trevor didn’t know her. Why did it matter to him if she was hurt? Pain was just a tool to use against others. Fear was weakness to be abused. Trevor knew that well.

Feeling a hand clap onto his shoulder, Trevor looked at Zidick with a cautious smile. Zidick gave him a smile of his own and Trevor felt a sick part of him swell up under the attention. Part of Trevor bathed in the attention like a religious man bathed in heaven’s glow. To Trevor the man beside him might as well have been god. He took and he gave. Trevor would have been nothing without the man. Trevor would have been eternally grateful to him.

Picking up the gun he had set down, Trevor aimed at the girl and gave a light smile before speaking.

“Darling don’t worry… You won’t _feel a thing._ ”

“Fuck you Zidick I’m leaving!” Trevor spat out like the words themselves were hellfire. He was 18, almost 19 years old and he’d had enough. He didn’t want to hurt people indiscriminately for Zidick. He didn’t want to be an attack dog sent on any person at random. Trevor wanted out and he knew taking Zidick down would take the entire gang down. Trevor would get out, become an informant or an investigator. He’d only use his torture on people who deserved it. People like him.

People like Zidick.

The laugh from the man sent shivers down Trevor’s spine, but he wasn’t going to back down. He was done. He wanted to get out or die trying to leave. There was no other way for Trevor. He had to get out. 

“It’s cute that you think I’d let you leave,” Zidick barked back, laughing the entire time. The laughter only made Trevor even angrier as he moved to attack Zidick. Somehow Zidick saw it coming and easily knocked Trevor down on his ass, causing his head to spin.

Clutching at his head, Trevor wasn’t able to do anything as cool metal was attached to his neck and a harsh yank caused it to dig into his throat, knocking him over on his back. Struggling to turn and look around, Trevor saw Zidick holding something that looked like a dog leash in one hand before the metal around his neck yanked again. Trevor shouted, his throat constricting painfully as he clawed at his neck. The pressure let up suddenly and Trevor was grabbed up by his hair and forced to look Zidick in the eyes.

“I’m going to have to hurt you boy. I thought by now you’d learned your lesson, but apparently not. You’ve got all the spine that your parents lacked somehow and I just can’t break you of it. That’s okay though because hurting you will be fun. I’ll take you apart and shove the broken pieces back together again until you’re nothing but a shell. I will bring you to death and let you just hang there until you beg me to let you die. Until your bruised and broken body and only manage to whisper out pleading words of a desire to die. I’m going to break you and make you a coward just like your fucking parents,” Zidick promised, his face twisting into a monstrous form of rage.

And beg, Trevor did. It only took five days for Trevor to start begging. The torture had last days and nights and Trevor started begging the fifth day of it. He was called a coward by Zidick’s lackeys and they said they’d passed along the messages and that Zidick didn’t believe him. Trevor screamed for Zidick to just kill him, to let him die until he went hoarse.

It was the seventh day of the torture that Zidick finally showed his face. Only Trevor and Zidick were in the room and the only weapon was a gun in Zidick’s hand. Trevor wasn’t even tied up because he was too broken to even think of resistance. Looking up to Zidick standing over him, Trevor swallowed painfully before begging pitifully, “Please Zidick… kill me please. I can’t take anymore. I just- I just want to die please.”

When Zidick didn’t move or say anything, Trevor reached out and grabbed the gun himself, putting it under his chin and looking at Zidick. “Please just end me please!”

Zidick pushed Trevor down onto his knees suddenly and Trevor fell to his knees without protest. Looking up at Zidick, Trevor whispered, “Please.”

The gun moved slightly and Trevor let his eyes shut slowly. The cool metal of the barrel pressed against Trevor’s burning forehead and he let out a sigh of relief. He was going to be free. He was going to be let free.

Relaxing, Trevor muttered, “Thank you,” before hearing the click of an empty gun. Eyes flying open, Trevor stared, mouth open as Zidick started laughing.

The leash Trevor was still attached to was jerked so Trevor was looking straight into Zidick’s eyes. “Do you think I’d actually let you die? After all that work I put into you? No, no you fucking idiot. I think I’ll let you live. Yeah, you’ll be my little bitch next to me during deals. A reminder to people what happens when they cross me. You don’t get to die like a fucking coward. You’ll die when I say you get the honor of it. I plan to milk this out as long as your fucking body can take it. Hell even when your body gives out maybe I’ll have someone shock it back to life just so I can keep going. That sounds like fun right? I own you and I’m not just going to let my property take the easy way out.”

Zidick threw his head back laughing and let go of both the gun and the leash in his cackling. Trevor hung his head in defeat until his eye caught the gun on the floor. Staring at it, a sudden surge of strength ignited in Trevor as he snatched up the gun and whipped it across Zidick’s face. As the other man crumpled to the ground, Trevor landed on top of him, swinging the gun wildly while screaming absolutely nothing. He swung and hit Zidick until blood covered them both and Zidick’s body didn’t so much as twitch.

Grabbing as his neck, Trevor pulled the metal collar off of his neck, ignoring the way he made himself bleed from pulling it off too fast. Chest heaving, Trevor threw both the gun and the collar away from him and stared up at the ceiling, letting out another pained scream into the heavens. Once his voice left him again, Trevor stood up once more. 

He was hurt, wounded, and half mad, but he was alive. Trevor was alive and he didn’t know why, but he’d be damned if he let anyone take that from him.

Trevor would _survive._

Opening his eyes, Trevor saw the pool floating above him once more, glaring into it with all his might. His body hurt and showed the beating he’d been taking, but it filled Trevor with determination. He would survive. He would keep going. Trevor would die with dignity. He refused to do it any other way. Suddenly the pool split in half and water rained down on Trevor, causing him to cough and choke on it.

\----------

Trying to lurch forward, Trevor coughed, trying desperately to clear his lungs of the water invading them. Looking around wildly, Trevor spotted Baldwin standing above him with a wicked grin.

“Glad to see you’re back with us Trevor.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are still with me after all that! I feel emotionally exhausted after writing all of it and next chapter we get torture part two! (and hopefully a rescue because I really don't want to write torture part three) Though, I will say that the next part might not be coming until the first week of May as finals are in a couple of weeks and I have way too much to do. Anyway I hoped you liked it!


	7. angels take many forms

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Help is always on the way.

At some point they broke Trevor. He almost felt a little numb if he was being honest. It still hurt, the torture that was, but Trevor had retreated within himself. It was a defense mechanism that he’d learned when he was younger. If he didn’t show he was in pain it wasn’t any fun for the torturer, right?

Baldwin didn’t seem to care about him reacting. It became obvious after the first day that Trevor wasn’t going to give any information about the Fakes. It was about revenge. Baldwin kept growling and snapping at Trevor about how Trevor had singlehandedly brought down all that Baldwin had to gain under Zidick. Apparently Trevor had set the other back a ways by killing Zidick. It was a little ironic.

After that first day though, time seemed to blur together. They water boarded him for quite some time. They’d killed him twice. His heart had stopped and he woke back up to someone’s mouth on his and another pushing on his chest to get his heart beating again.

Another time his heart gave out because of the pain or something like that. Trevor wasn’t even sure at that point. All he knew was he woke up strapped to a table with two pads on his chest and electricity running through him.

Trevor lost track of what they had done to him quickly.

It was quiet at that point, though. Trevor felt tears slipping out of his eyes. They were involuntary, but they still made Trevor feel weak. There wasn’t even anyone there in the room with Trevor. He was crying for no reason and it made him feel even weaker than being trapped and tied down did.

Turning his head slowly, Trevor couldn’t see much, his vision was too blurry. It had been a while since Trevor had gotten food or fluids from the IV they would occasionally stick into him. Trevor’s body was starting to give out and a weak, tired part of Trevor hoped that they would just let his body die without reviving him again. Trevor just wanted to rest. He just wanted it to stop.

A muffle bang made Trevor flinch. Turning towards the bang, Trevor heard the sound of distant gunfire. Baldwin must have pissed someone off and had to defend himself. At least if they were busy fending off an attack Trevor would be given a reprieve from the torture. A soft sigh released itself from Trevor and he let his eyes slip shut. He wouldn’t fall asleep, but maybe unconsciousness would steal him away from the world. Maybe he would die and be safe from the hell he was in.

The gunfire gradually grew louder and louder, but all Trevor could think about was how tired he was. He left his eyes shut and continued just listening to the pop noises of guns and the booms of explosions. Maybe if Baldwin’s gang lost Trevor would be released. That was a nice thought, but Trevor doubted it. The logical thing to do would be to kill Trevor.

Eventually Trevor opened his eyes again. The gunfire sounded like it was just on the other side of the door. Looking at the door, Trevor saw Baldwin burst into the room with a gun in hand and blood seeping from his side. Trevor let his eyes slip shut again, assuming Baldwin was there to make sure Trevor couldn’t reveal anything he knew.

A loud bang caused Trevor’s eyes to snap open. Standing in the door was a well-known black skull and a shorter man. As the two approached Trevor could see the gun in the Vagabond’s hand and the relief mixed with horror plastered to Jeremy’s face.

Tears slipped down Trevor’s face as they moved quickly to him. He hadn’t thought they would come for him.

\----------

Rising back to consciousness, Trevor’s mind felt like it was in a haze. He didn’t know what to think or what was going on. Blinking at the bright white lights, Trevor looking over to his side and spotted Michael sitting at a chair, watching over the door with a gun in his lap. To the left of Michael, Trevor spotted Jeremy sleeping in the chair. Smiling lightly, Trevor felt a warm spot in his heart swell a little.

Though maybe that was just because Trevor’s head was still fuzzy. Opening his mouth, Trevor tried to speak, but ended up just making a gargled noise. Forming words was hard with his head swimming the way it was.

Michael looked to Trevor at that before shaking Jeremy lightly and saying, “I’ll let you guys talk. I’m just outside the door if you need anything, Trevor.”

It took all of Trevor’s concentration to just nod at Michael.

As Jeremy woke up, Trevor looked at him with a stupid smile plastered to his face, Trevor didn’t know where he was or why everything felt so hazy, but the warm feeling just looking at Jeremy made Trevor feel safe.

Rubbing at his eyes, Jeremy looked around before jolting up at the sight of Trevor awake. “Trevor! Oh god I’m so glad you’re awake. Are you okay?”

Trevor just lolled his head to the side slightly and stared at Jeremy for a little bit before saying, “I really like you. I’m glad you came for me. I’m glad I ran into your shop…” Trevor trailed off with a soft sigh before letting his eyes slip shut again.

The last thing Trevor heard was Jeremy. “I like you too Treyco.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually meant to post this yesterday and got busy. Sorry it's shorter than other chapters. Next week I'll write a longer chapter, though I must say I can only see one or two more chapters of this fic. Either way, I hope you enjoyed!


	8. eternity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eternity doesn't seem so bad when you have your friends at your side.

Waking up felt like rising back up to the surface after being buried underground for hour. That was to say, deeply confusing and headache inducing.

Blinking his eyes open, Trevor stared up at the ceiling. The last thing he remembered was the Fakes storming Baldwin’s hideout. Looking up at the blurry white lights, Trevor wondered for a second if he was dead, but lolling his head to the side, Trevor spotted Jeremy sitting in a chair asleep. Trevor couldn’t have been dead if Jeremy was there, after all, Trevor was going straight to hell and Jeremy was nothing short of an angel.

A movement to the side caused Trevor’s eyes to shift their gaze once more. Ryan was standing near him, watching him. As his vision cleared a little, Trevor’s mind seemed to wake up and he was aware of the pain radiating throughout his body.

Opening his mouth, Trevor let out a guttural noise as he tried to speak. Swallowing and clearing his throat, Trevor asked, “What happened?”

The flash of guilt in Ryan’s eyes made Trevor himself feel guilty. He wondered what the other was going to say, but was given a finger pointed up to get Trevor to wait. Ryan pulled out his phone and started calling someone.

“Geoff? Yeah, he’s awake. No it’s not like before he’s actually lucid. The doctors stopped giving him as much pain medication and said it would probably cause him to wake up much clearer than before. Yeah, I’m going to get Caleb. I just wanted to let you guys know. I know you’ve been worried,” Ryan said, nodding along as he spoke. There was a longer pause as Ryan listened to the phone. After a moment Ryan spoke again, “Jeremy’s still here. You want to send Matt and Gavin over to try and get him to go home? I know he’ll probably refuse, but he needs to get some sleep.”

Another moment passed before Ryan hung up and said, “Give me a second and then we’ll talk. There’s a cup of water on the table next to you.”

With that Trevor was left alone. Looking back at Jeremy again, Trevor smiled a little. He was able to piece together the fact that Jeremy had been in the hospital waiting for Trevor to get up so there was a flicker of guilt inside of Trevor’s chest, but most of all Trevor felt lucky. Jeremy was there for him and Trevor was so happy to see him.

A little while later, the door opened once again and Ryan entered first, following him was a younger man. “Trevor this is Caleb. He works at the hospital, but he’s on our payroll so he’ll treat us under false names and look the other way. You can trust him.”

Caleb moved closer to Trevor and started asking him questions, making sure he could move all of his limbs, asking where it hurt the most, explaining all of the damage done to him, telling him that he wouldn’t be able to do anything strenuous for months without risking serious injury, informing him that he would be able to leave the hospital in a few days after they made sure he wasn’t going to get an infection and to get an idea of long lasting issues.

Once Caleb left, Jeremy started to stir in his chair. Giving Ryan a look, Trevor was relieved when the other walked out of the room and closed the door.

“Hey…” Trevor spoke quietly once Jeremy looked at him. It was easy to see the shock in Jeremy’s eyes and Trevor offered the other a timid smile.

“Trevor, are you actually, you know, awake this time?” Jeremy asked, leaning forwards and towards Trevor.

Trevor gave the other a quick nod before saying, “That’s what Ryan and Caleb seem to think.”

“What did Caleb say about this?”

“He said I’m looking good and should be out of here in three days at the latest. Though he said it’ll take a while for me to be up and moving around a whole lot. Not that I’m complaining. Moving hurts,” Trevor added with a nervous laugh. The room was full of a thick tension that Trevor was desperate to dissipate.

The concern on Jeremy’s face was easy to see and forced Trevor to look away from the other. “You almost died. The doctor- Caleb, he said you did die. That your lungs showed signs of… and there are marks on your chest.”

The tremble of the others voice made Trevor’s heart seize painfully. He didn’t know what to say to the other. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s not your fault. I’m just… Trevor I’m so glad you’re alive. I can’t believe you’re alive. When you were taken I was so worried. Geoff kept saying he was going to get you back, but it took so long,” Jeremy whispered, almost as if saying it any louder would take Trevor away again.

It was then that Trevor realized how numb he’d felt as he woke up. How disoriented and unaware. Jeremy’s words broke a dam in Trevor’s mind where his emotions had been locked tightly away. Tears welled up in Trevor’s eyes, slowly spilling out one by one. Trevor knew he almost died. He knew he had died. He didn’t know how he was still alive. Part of it felt like a cruel dream that would be ripped out from under him. From what Trevor remembered, Baldwin was dead, but that didn’t mean Trevor felt safe. He still felt like any moment he would be attacked, ripped away from the warmth he felt around Jeremy. Trevor lived in darkness for so long and at that moment, Jeremy had brought him into the light.

Tears poured out of Trevor’s eyes as he covered his face, trying to contain his emotions. All he could do was sit there, crying and muttering sorry over and over. After a moment, Trevor felt arms wrapping around him and flinched, fighting them off while breathing rapidly.

“Don’t please don’t,” Trevor muttered, screwing his eyes shut and preparing himself for pain. It was like he was a child again. He felt like the ground was out from under him as he shook and cried uncontrollably, trying to pull in air and push it out, but feeling his throat sieze up. Trevor didn’t know what to do. He heard someone speaking, but it felt like trying to hear someone underwater. Hands in his hair, Trevor clenched tightly, pulling painfully on the strands.

A soothing voice appeared next to Trevor, talking in a low tone, “Trevor, hey, buddy, listen to me. It’s okay. You’re safe. I’m here for you, Jeremy’s here for you. We’ll keep you safe. No one can hurt you.”

There was a hand on his back, rubbing soft, light circles. “Try to take a deep breath for me. Breath in… breath out… breath in… breath out. You’re okay. I’ve got you.”

It took a little while, but eventually Trevor felt like he could breathe again. He relaxed his hands a little and slowly opened his eyes. He could see Jeremy standing by the doorway, fear on his face. Looking to the side, Trevor saw Ryan sitting next to him, rubbing a soft hand on his back to try to soothe him. Glancing back up at Jeremy, Trevor felt guilt radiating through him.

“Hey asshole you ready to g- oh shit,” Matt said, entering the room and spotting the scene around him. Trevor watched the other and saw the same worry on his face as Jeremy’s. Looking away, Trevor curled in on himself.

“Trevor…” Jeremy started before being interrupted by Ryan.

“Go with Matt,” Ryan commanded without a second thought. He could see the way Trevor was trembling looking at Jeremy.

Keeping his eyes down, Trevor didn’t watch Jeremy leave, but once he heard the door shut, Trevor looked up at Ryan again. “Why aren’t you freaking out like them?”

“You were having a panic attack. I used to have them a lot before joining the Fakes. They help me feel safe enough that I don’t have them anymore and if I do have one, they know how to calm me down,” Ryan explained quietly.

Silence permeated the room for a moment before Ryan removed his hand from Trevor’s back and spoke once more, “Michael and I are taking shifts watching the room. We think we got everyone who was with Baldwin, but we’re not taking any chances. Other than that and doctors, no one will be in this room unless you want them here, Trevor. Michael and I can even take watch outside if you need us to. We want to keep you safe, but I understand if you don’t feel safe around people.”

Trevor didn’t say anything. “I went through something similar to you and it was a long time before I wanted to be near people. It’s hard to… readjust. The top priority is that you heal.”

Nodding lightly, Trevor looked away from Ryan again and whispered, “I’d like to be alone.”

\----------

Once Trevor got back from the hospital, he stayed with the Fakes. Jeremy and Matt both stayed there as well, though they still went to the bakery. The penthouse was loud when all the Fakes were there and Trevor wasn’t sure he liked it. Though, for two weeks no one bothered him or forced him to do things he didn’t want to. He left his room to get food and to use a treadmill to get used to walking and to distract from the pain. In the second week, Trevor went back to check up with Caleb and was told that he was healing well. It still hurt, but Trevor wasn’t surprised by that. His cuts had healed and some of the bruises had faded away, but every time he drew breath pain ignited in his chest. Any time someone surprised Trevor or came around a corner too fast he would flinch or start panicking. Ryan was the only one Trevor was comfortable being around and that was only after the other explained what he had gone through.

It was in the third week that Jeremy finally tried to speak to Trevor.

A knock on the door caused Trevor to flinch, but he opened it anyway. The sight of Jeremy nervously standing there caused guilt to well up inside of Trevor. The words ‘sorry’ where on his lips, but they were cut off when Jeremy spoke.

“I just wanted to make sure you’re okay. You don’t have to talk to me or be around me I just need some confirmation that you’re not… that- I don’t know. Something,” Jeremy mumbled, looking to the side and not at Trevor as if Trevor was some wild animal that would freak out at any second.

“Why?” Trevor asked quietly. He didn’t know what it meant exactly. Why Jeremy cared so much about him? Why Jeremy wasn’t mad that Trevor lied about being a criminal? Why Trevor longed to be close to Jeremy? Why Trevor was terrified that he was going to drag Jeremy down with him?

There was a pause before Jeremy seemed to grasp some answer to Trevor’s cryptic question. “I really like you Trevor. I know you were hiding stuff from me, but I had come to terms with that before all of this happened. I know, at least I hope, the person you were before I knew wasn’t a lie. I get that this has changed a lot. I get that you need time and space. That doesn’t change how I feel about you. I can’t explain exactly what I feel, but I don’t want to just give up on this and walk away if there’s a chance you still want to try.”

Trevor didn’t know what to say, so he just remained silent. Jeremy stared up at him nervously. Eventually, Trevor spoke softly, “Jeremy, I don’t know what you want me to say. I like you too, a lot, but you’ve seen what happens in this life… what can happen if you’re connected to this life. I can’t protect you. I can’t fix myself. It’s like trying to make a crumpled piece of paper flat again. I don’t know…”

“You don’t need to protect me. At least not alone. Geoff offered me a job and even if I don’t take it, he said he’ll keep me safe, both of us safe. You don’t have to do this all on your own. We can help you. It’s going to take time and a whole lot of effort, but I don’t want to just give up. I don’t want or expect anything of you, I just want to be there for you. So please, I’ll do what you want if I can just be a part of your life still,” Jeremy said quickly.

After a moment, Trevor gave a soft smile and said, “It’s going to take a really long time for me to be okay again and I can’t ever promise I’ll be the exact same as before, but do you think you could wait for me to get better? I mean… do you think once I get better you would go on a date with me?”

The brilliant smile across Jeremy’s face eased the guilt and turmoil in Trevor’s chest and made him relax.

“You bet your ass I will,” Jeremy snapped.

Licking his lips nervously, Trevor leaned in slowly. He flinched lightly as their lips touched, still jumpy at being touched, but he relaxed a little when nothing bad happened. Opening his eyes, Trevor saw Jeremy staring up at him and smiled back.

Maybe it would take an eternity to feel okay again, but at least for the time being, Trevor didn’t have to run away from everything to stay safe. He didn’t have to bare the weight of the world on his back.

Trevor could stop running and just enjoy the time he had left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey it's the finale! I hoped it was everything you were looking forward to!


End file.
